Dealing with one bride is tough enough, but two? Double trouble. Charmaine and Kim met online, became friends, and decided to join a group of people for an extended road trip to the East Coast. Everyone else ended up bailing, so the two gals got to know each other very well in that compact car. Now they’re on the road to matrimony ... but unfortunately, it’s turned out to be a bumpy one. Charmaine is in full panic mode and can’t stop crying, while Kim is on her way to becoming the poster child for lung-cancer with her chain-smoking. Thankfully, Jane Dayus-Hinch heard their SOS and has come to their rescue.

Charmaine is nervous about meeting Jane, because she thinks Jane is going to scold her. It’s Jane who should be nervous, though – after all, this isn’t your average Lebanese wedding. That’s what our wedding planner-turned-fairy godmother was expecting. Imagine her surprise when she meets the brides-to-be and realizes it’s a lesbian wedding that she’s come to rescue. Quite a typo, no? That’s shock number one, and it’s written all over Jane’s face. My guess is that prim and proper Jane has never actually met a lesbian couple before. Especially a couple that is three days away from tying the knot and needs help. That would be shock number two. The ladies are master procrastinators, and they’ve put off most of the wedding planning until the last minute: they have no flowers, no DJ, no caterer, and no vows. They do have a venue. This is thanks to a friend who offered up her backyard ... that apparently doubles as a junkyard. Pretty! Which brings us to shock number three for Jane, “This is where the wedding is?” Our fearless wedding planner looks as though she’s going to walk away from the whole thing. When she stands in silence, pondering the mess she’s facing, Kim calls her on it. “You got so quiet, and it scares me.” Jane doesn’t miss a beat, “It shows I’m thinking.” Our fairy god-planner loves a challenge, but has she bitten off more than she can chew?

Charmaine and Kim have ordered tables, chairs, and a tent (whew!), but they don’t have any decorations planned out. Teary-eyed Charmaine is worried, “It will be the ugliest wedding in history!” Table cloths? Yep – pink plastic. I shudder at the thought. Tent floor plan? Uh, nope. Jane is aghast, “This is a nightmare. Three days left? We need three weeks!” It’s no surprise that meeting with Jane has sent Charmaine over the edge, leaving Kim to play therapist to calm her down. Jane doesn’t let up, “This is bad. Very bad.” So astute. Jane wastes no time in getting a plan together, with removing the junk from the backyard being the first priority. She tells them they only get one shot at this, but Kim corrects her with an interesting revelation. “I’ve been married before, so I want this to be everything it can possibly be, for Charmaine.” Apparently, Kim used to be straight – she even has two sons – but she decided later in life that women were more her thing. Don’t ya love a show that’s a little juicy? Not one to show her emotional side, (well, other than frustration), poker-faced Jane’s steely veneer even cracked a little. But she clears her throat and cuts through the sentiment to plow through the rest of the list. The question is: will our procrastinating duo be able to keep up?

Charmaine and Kim have their marching orders, so after wiping their tears away, they arm themselves with a new resolve and a pack of cigarettes. They decide to start at the top of the heap. Literally. Kim gets one plastic chair off the pile of junk in the yard, and since it’s there, she decides to put it to good use. Smoke break! I kid you not. The ladies take another look at the daunting task in front of them and pick up the phone. Hello, Jane?