Southern belle Cari (that’s how she fancies herself, at least), a 22-year-old from Piedmont, South Carolina, is preparing to wed Brian, 30, a volunteer firefighter. The two met when Cari was out on a blind date with Brian’s friend – but instead of hitting it off with her date, she hit it off with Brian. During their interview, Cari asks him what her best qualities are. He says her personality, the way she smiles, and then pauses for a hilariously long time, unable to come up with any others. After a two-and-a-half-year romance, the proposal was a bit anticlimactic, too. After the couple found a ring on sale, “Brian just looked at it, and looked at me and said, ‘Here, you can put this on if you want to’,” remembers Cari. Ah ... so romantic.

Cari wants a “country chic” wedding – which to her means that it has the Southern appeal but it’s not redneck or too country. “I have a high standard you have to uphold,” Cari says. That high standard doesn’t seem to apply to restroom facilities, though, as the lack of running water at the wedding site means port-a-potties will need to be brought in. Fear not, though – Cari’s thinking of decorating the doors with flowers. See? Country chic!

Brian previously had trouble listing some of his bride-to-be’s good qualities, but he’s all over her bridezilla tendencies. “She becomes a brat, she don’t talk to people, you can’t get her to be quiet when she does talk to you, she starts pouting,” he helpfully enumerates.

With one week left until her wedding, Cari and her best friend head to Cari’s sister’s house to work on bouquets. I just want to say right now – and I know that this has caused quite a firestorm over on the WeTV boards, but because I’m recapping this show and this is part of it – it’s striking how seriously obese these three young women are. For the sake of their health and quality of life, I hope they’re taking measures to get in better shape. Anyway, Cari insists on making a flower ball for the flower girl. “I’ll let you do it; I’ll just tell you what to do,” she says to her sister. After a few minutes under Cari’s watchful eye, she starts cracking under the pressure. “Cari makes me a nervous wreck. If I do something wrong, I’m gonna be starved and without potty breaks,” her sister says.

Partway through, they realize there aren’t enough fake flowers to complete the masterpiece, so Cari and her friend head to the store. There’s a really odd exchange, in which she asks Brian if he’s going to feel comfortable staying alone with her sister. “I’m not saying anything’s gonna happen,” she says. How weird. If Cari and her sister live near each other and Cari has been dating Brian for at least two and a half years, then wouldn’t the two already be well acquainted?

On the way to the store, Cari tells her friend Ashley that the pastor just dropped out of the wedding. [“What, a week prior? If that’s really the timeline and not this show’s whacked-out editing, that really sucks.” – Cylon Bride] In South Carolina, they don’t necessarily need a pastor to get married; they could use a notary. Ashley’s mom happens to be a notary, so Ashley offers to ask, but Cari is pretty sure it won’t work out. “My mom and Cari just don’t get along, ’cause my mom thinks that Cari is all about herself,” Ashley says.