It’s the marriage of the Air Force to the “share force” as 22-year-old Kiel gets ready to marry the bisexual 20-year-old Krystle in Waldorf, Maryland. They’ve been long-distance relationship-ping from Maryland to Sumter, South Carolina ever since they first hooked up. Krystle admits “having a long distance relationship is hard,” especially when she has to unwrap wedding gifts while her fiancé listens over the phone. After the wedding, though, she’ll be moving down to SC to join her man.

Krystle’s mom is worried about the couple’s financial picture, because Krystle lacks experience paying bills beyond her cell phone bill. Now that she’s stepping away from mom’s purse and stepping out on her own, Krystle’s not going to be able to spend a lot of money on her designer clothes habit, or her make-up, or her earrings and other accessories. Fortunately, Krystle is distracted with other concerns: should she pack her bondage kit, or her collector Barbies? Tough call. Maybe a bi-bride should pack both?

Kiel, for one, is looking forward “to finally living together.” But their shack-up may not last long. Kiel’s job is down in Sumter and the government has plans for him. Kiel’s a Senior Airman in the Air Force’s Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit – that’s bomb disposal, for us civilians. When he deploys to Iraq post-wedding, it’ll be “to defuse and clear roadside bombs.”

Krystle’s “about as fine as anyone could get” with Kiel’s impending departure, according to him. His Air Force buddies are full of warnings, however. Kiel’s best bud was in Iraq and he thinks that’s what led to his divorce. Krystle probably doesn’t know how hard it is on an Air Force wife, and she doesn’t know any other Air Force wives to help her cope. But while deployment can be rough, coming back after deployment “can be awesome.” However there’s “always that thought in your head” that maybe your wife was messing around while you were gone. To sum up this collective wisdom, “good luck!”

Kiel might need good luck sooner rather than later. The wedding party itself might raise a few concerns, because 1) all of Krystle’s bridesmaids are bisexual; 2) she’s had “relations” with all of them, and 3) she’s even slept with one of the groomsmen.

Apparently, Kiel is okay with all of this because it’s all in the past. In a heart-to-heart with her mom, Krystle tells her that Kiel thinks that because Krystle’s marrying him “that I’m not bi anymore.” And that she automatically “becomes straight,” by definition. We learn the secret of the source of all of Krystle’s wild mattress action: “Sex and the City.” That series was all about “having sex without emotions, and I’ve been watching that show since I was 12.” Will all these extra-curricular “relations” end once Krystle gets married? “I don’t know.” Well, that’s comforting – this marriage situation is starting to look like a bomb that can’t be defused.